tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post5425831731156818224..comments2024-02-23T03:16:48.921-07:00Comments on The Power of the Pink Lines: Why I'm Not Ready for Another Baby. Part I {a brutally honest post}Laurenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14181324875620228813noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-16709907319499234222011-04-26T18:44:29.909-06:002011-04-26T18:44:29.909-06:00Thanks for sharing! I know that was hard to do! I ...Thanks for sharing! I know that was hard to do! I am sure you know this but you are not alone. I had the exact feelings about feeding being a chore and not deserving such a great life...I did not reach your point of breaking but it eventually got better, I am glad you sought help and give you props for telling your story and letting it all hang out ;o)shayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17409781827352402620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-50550100249413971182011-04-19T20:25:40.540-06:002011-04-19T20:25:40.540-06:00I am so proud of you for sharing this! I bet it h...I am so proud of you for sharing this! I bet it has helped so many mothers who felt/feel the same way. You are a great mother and wife!Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10428456704595224729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-28679561902656252862011-04-19T11:18:10.621-06:002011-04-19T11:18:10.621-06:00Im so sorry love! That is an awful feeling, and of...Im so sorry love! That is an awful feeling, and of course no one can tell you to feel different. But you seem to have a lot of love and support which is always nice. I didnt go through all you did, in fact, I always felt I had NO reason at all to feel depressed. I wasnt myself either, and I felt that my husband deserved better...I felt sorry for my daughter to not get to choose her mother. Poor thing being stuck with someone like me. As she has grown, I find myself thinking...Im doing okay...She smiles at me, she whines when someone else picks her up because she wants me. Gotta be doing something right...right?<br />No one can ever understand fully or endure what you are feeling and going through. Its not easy being a woman, its only that much harder being a mother. I dont know you...you dont know me...but reading some of your blogs...I can tell you love your family more than anything. I dont miss those days either, by the way. LOL! I love my little girl more than words could ever discribe, but I dont want to start over. I dont want another. Babies are not easy. Kylie is just about to turn 1. I cant believe it. This age is my favorite. She is so much fun. She is full of personality and makes me laugh and smile all day. I have a history of depression, and during the first 6 months or so of her life, it was rough...I found myself crying more than laughing. Those times are being made up. LOL! I guess its a way of looking at it anyway. <br />Again, no words can take away your emotional times. Its completely understandable with what you have been through to feel the way you do. And sadly, time and strength is what heals it. I hope things get better for you and your family. Blogging is such a wonderful output. Let you heart scream it out.(¯'·.¸ ♥ мяs. gяiswoℓ∂ ♥¸.·'¯)https://www.blogger.com/profile/12569370879119368083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-31910400556974309502011-04-18T13:59:18.395-06:002011-04-18T13:59:18.395-06:00Hey lady,
This is my first time visiting your blo...Hey lady,<br /><br />This is my first time visiting your blog. I think I found it via Mrs. Foreste?? Anywhoodles, this post sounds *exactly* like what I went through. I call the first six months of my daughter's life "The Dark Days" because looking back, I was litterally in the most horrible place of my life.<br /><br />Until she was about 15 months old, I swore up an down that I was NOT ready to go through all of that again. I even contemplated making her an only child (something that has Never been in my "life plan")<br /><br />But around 16 months, something just "clicked" and I found my groove as a mother. I found myself thinking more and more about having another baby, and now I honestly feel ready.<br /><br />I have had to come to terms with the fact that her birth and the months following were hard, and out of the norm. And I've learned that it's totally different with your second one. From what I've heard, you know what to do the second time around and all of the anxiety, fear, and overwhelming feelings are gone.<br /><br />I just wanted to give you some hope that although you feel this way now, you probably wont feel this way forever. <br /><br />Thank you so much for sharing your story because it helps mamas like me feel normal :)Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10873874242043833709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-60566619353623093842011-04-13T12:35:07.332-06:002011-04-13T12:35:07.332-06:00Thank you for being so honest. I too, could feel w...Thank you for being so honest. I too, could feel when I was cut open during my C-section, and was put out. I missed it all. I struggled with some anxiety but nothing compared to what you went through. I am so sorry you struggled with this- but rest assured, you are a GREAT mother!Julie S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14765401853636543444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-89539493484054366562011-04-13T04:22:00.779-06:002011-04-13T04:22:00.779-06:00Thank you for being honest and sharing this. I kno...Thank you for being honest and sharing this. I know for me writing is so helpful, and your story is important. ((hugs))Bransonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15192536399187665762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-38434266620461786982011-04-12T22:09:36.860-06:002011-04-12T22:09:36.860-06:00I love that you wrote this! You said what some of ...I love that you wrote this! You said what some of us are thinking!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-89083697532890208052011-04-12T20:25:33.353-06:002011-04-12T20:25:33.353-06:00Good for you for being honest and not hiding how y...Good for you for being honest and not hiding how you felt. I'm so sorry to hear that. It breaks my heart. You are a strong, strong lady and your family is very lucky to have you.Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12066657938779603479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-75565023762946418082011-04-12T19:30:39.103-06:002011-04-12T19:30:39.103-06:00You are so strong to post this for all to read. Bu...You are so strong to post this for all to read. But in a way it can be healing for you and for others who are going through the same thing. I have a 6 month old daughter and I understand what you mean when you didn't feel the connection when you breastfed. I felt it was gross, I did not feel a bond at all, I felt like a horrible mother at first. I love reading your blog and seeing the pictures of your beautiful daughter. You are an amazing mom despite your struggle. No one should ever judge you! You got help and we all can tell how much you love your little girl. In motherhood/parenthood we all just have to take it one day at a time. Just know you are not the only one that has went through this and your daughter KNOWS you love her.Merindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08016237130738632480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-22613039173028145042011-04-12T19:11:36.433-06:002011-04-12T19:11:36.433-06:00I felt the EXACT. SAME. WAY. when my first daughte...I felt the EXACT. SAME. WAY. when my first daughter was born. The entire pregnancy was rough and the birth was no way how we were expecting it to go and I think that played a huge role in it too. Brooklyn was about 6 months before I started feeling somewhat better (with some heavy medication and intense therapy). I have no memories of her birth or the first 6 months of her life. The only pictures I have are ones that other people took and I regret it every damn day of my life. Later I was diagnosed with Postpartum Psychosis. I now have a 6 month old son as well and this pregnancy was completely different!!! I'm getting on antidepressants however it has nothing to do with postpartum depression. Being not ready for another one is perfectly fine but don't rule it out in fear of the same outcome. Every pregnancy is different and your next could go just as planned! Thank you for being so honest! It's nice to know I'm not the only one who went through that hell. Unless you've been through it, you just can't even begin to understand.Our storyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00834047831186067501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-51290851539756013162011-04-12T15:39:48.184-06:002011-04-12T15:39:48.184-06:00Bless your heart. I do not think for a second you...Bless your heart. I do not think for a second you are alone in your depression those first months. I told my husband I just want to enjoy this next baby in the beginning unlike the way I was with our son. I wasn't extremely depressed no, but I was definitely battling with some ppd. <br />I think it takes great courage to share your story. You are helping other women out there going through similar situations. For that be proud.Meant to be a momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02593510601585009840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-25912044920442038262011-04-12T14:03:16.242-06:002011-04-12T14:03:16.242-06:00I am so glad your being honest and sharing this wi...I am so glad your being honest and sharing this with all of us. You are so brave and a wonderful mother. I hope that by sharing your story you can help another new mom who might be having these same problems but afraid to get help. Big hugs to you!Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00744262236517284277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-76800046285949940442011-04-12T13:01:10.636-06:002011-04-12T13:01:10.636-06:00(((hugs friend))) many times I have screamed into ...(((hugs friend))) many times I have screamed into a pillow and wanted to die. Especially when I could not anything more than chicken, rice, and vegetables or else his stomach would bleed. I didn't have that ZOMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCHIES!!! burst for oh. months? I did go to my OB, she gave me Zoloft and I took it for 9 days and I had some scary symptoms so I quit it and decided to battle whatever this was myself. The first 5-6 months were hell. HELL. And no one talks about it until after things have gotten better because we are ashamed. I so feel you, Lauren. Things are much easier now that I can eat whatever I want again and he actually sleeps now. Are things better for you? I know it's still hard. Somedays, I'm just like ugh, can I please have a day OFF from this??! You are an awesome mama, Lauren. You are fun, gorgeous, strong, and someone I would TOTALLY want to meet and be IRL friends (not just e-friends). AND you are awesome that through PPD, you did not give up BFing. You are giving Claire the BEST start in life and you should be so proud of yourself. (((hugs)))Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15321307434915264238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-11839863299307307112011-04-12T11:34:09.967-06:002011-04-12T11:34:09.967-06:00I have definitely been wondering if you've bee...I have definitely been wondering if you've been going through this, from reading your earlier post on depression. PPD sounds like HELL. I can't even imagine. <br /><br />I hope you're feeling better, C, and I hope that writing it all out helps you to heal. Hugs.Aprilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16932495960253800127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-31817994539353754812011-04-12T11:32:25.391-06:002011-04-12T11:32:25.391-06:00THANK YOU for writing this post. I'm recoveri...THANK YOU for writing this post. I'm recovering from Post Partum Anxiety...which I didn't even knew existed when I was pregnant. PPD was my biggest fear, just like yours. Mine hit about 2 months after Ty was born...just when I thought I was in the clear. It's such a horrible feeling, but I can't tell you how much better it makes me feel to read stories like yours and know I'm not alone. You are an amazing mom! Your daughter will be a stronger woman because of all the experiences you've endured!Jessica Hudsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10358843734053036798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-49360026607780154992011-04-12T10:54:05.218-06:002011-04-12T10:54:05.218-06:00Just like everyone else said, how awesome of you t...Just like everyone else said, how awesome of you to share this, because I'm sure you will help A LOT of women out there who are going through/went through the same thing. I can relate to you on the depression/anxiety. I have been on Lexapro for a few years now, and they just upped my dosage and so far, so good. Can't wait to come back and read more.Ravenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06484566171145256075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-58901900503664983292011-04-12T10:49:45.136-06:002011-04-12T10:49:45.136-06:00You are so brave. I have heard how awful PPD is a...You are so brave. I have heard how awful PPD is and it breaks my heart to hear that you had to go through this. I would have never guessed and I appreciate your willingness to share this with all of us. I just want to hug you and say "thank you, Claire is so lucky to have such a brave Mama" So if you ever come to Michigan there's a hug waiting for you ;)<br /><br />Love,<br />ErinMrs. Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11720226152281770111noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-49009209069512943252011-04-12T10:48:11.386-06:002011-04-12T10:48:11.386-06:00you are such a strong woman for writing this out, ...you are such a strong woman for writing this out, and i commend you for that. you are an amazing wife, mother, and person. thank you for having the courage to share something so intimate with us. i sm looking forward to reading the rest.Mrs. Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08400154927719768544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-84545657119003613102011-04-12T10:27:28.144-06:002011-04-12T10:27:28.144-06:00I remember the post you wrote while you were pregn...I remember the post you wrote while you were pregnant about suffering from depression and I always wondered how things went after you gave birth to your daughter. Since you never mentioned it, I had assumed you managed to avoid ppd. I'm so sorry that you went through such a struggle.<br />I've never suffered from PPD, but postpartum hormones do a number on every woman, including me, so I can only imagine what you went through. <br />This was very brave post for you to write. I think that if more people would talk about ppd, it would be easier for women to recognize and address if they are suffering from it. <br />I think you are an amazing mom, for the record! I can't believe that you STILL pump every bottle for your daughter just so that she can have breastmilk. I would have given up breastfeeding long ago if I had to do that. You're a rock star!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07929850176678535570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-4186749978558554562011-04-12T10:21:51.217-06:002011-04-12T10:21:51.217-06:00Oh hun you are so tough for pouring your feelings ...Oh hun you are so tough for pouring your feelings out to all of us. What a scary time for you that must have been. I cannot say that I have struggled with PPD, but I def have struggled with depression. I can't say I am 100% fixed but I try. Trust me there are still days of weakness and sadness, but then days of joy come and I feel like it is all worth while! Hang in there. Not everyone wants another baby right away or even years down the road. You will want another when the time is right for you, D and Claire!!!! ((Hugs))Megan Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12313793270602636734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-68232014888372417332011-04-12T09:45:49.729-06:002011-04-12T09:45:49.729-06:00You are so awesome for writing an honest account o...You are so awesome for writing an honest account of when your daughter was a newborn. I, too, had a hard time when Cailyn was first born. I didn't enjoy being a mom as much as I felt like I should have and was just down all the time. It's therapeutic to write about it!Christiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11272588098154590024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-56844990805018049042011-04-12T09:39:39.217-06:002011-04-12T09:39:39.217-06:00I think more woman can identify with this than you...I think more woman can identify with this than you think...alot of your feelings were normal for the the few weeks following the birth of a baby. Breastfeeding isn't enjoyable until at least after the first month, and yeah some newborns cry ALOT and it's hard for anyone to stay sane listening to it for the majority of the day. My daughter wasn't even that difficult (the only thing I can complain about is that she didn't sttn until 11 months) and I still didn't start feeling like I wanted another baby until she hit the 18 month mark. Taking care of a newborn is hard as hell, a complete shock to your system no matter how mentally stable you are.jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10640999944773757123noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-4123485839265160212011-04-12T08:42:20.811-06:002011-04-12T08:42:20.811-06:00This is such a brutal and honest post. Love that y...This is such a brutal and honest post. Love that you can share this with us. Can't wait for the rest. *hugs*Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10187255756022532401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-75245163749009642982011-04-12T08:19:38.507-06:002011-04-12T08:19:38.507-06:00I love the suspense :)Sorry, I had to put a litle ...I love the suspense :)Sorry, I had to put a litle humor out there amongst the seriousness of the post. And honestly? I think I went through a little of this too when I had Carly...<br /><br />I felt SO guilty because when Lidia was born, I had that instant connection, never wanted to leave her side, etc. But when Carly was born? I loved her yes, but I dreaded many of the things you did; wanted away, hated listening to the crying, etc. I had many nights similar to yours where the hubby had to take over for a bit.<br /><br />I think it was because I had two babies in one year. I was exhausted. Not ready for another. Felt guilty about Lidia not having my whole attention, she was a little colicky, etc. This is more normal than most people think and it is AMAZING that you are putting this out there for other people to relate too!<br /><br />And just for the record, Carly is my angel baby and so easy NOW... it always gets better and I'm glad it has with you and Claire too! :)<br /><br />hugs to you babe!B Fhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13355582761039013864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6643658781648024453.post-33020404442397852142011-04-12T08:15:21.350-06:002011-04-12T08:15:21.350-06:00Thank you for having the courage to write this. Yo...Thank you for having the courage to write this. You are one strong amazing mama!Jeanniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17330143432861047954noreply@blogger.com