Mixed Feelings.

First of all, I want to thank you all for the sweet & encouraging comments on my post about Early Intervention for Claire! A therapist is coming out to our house starting next Wednesday to work with her on her motor development (still no crawling) & I am really looking forward to it. I have high hopes that she will catch on quickly & will be moving in no time.


Now, onto the real reason for this post...


I'm weaning from the pump. And I have so many mixed feelings about it. I mean, that damn pump has been physically closer to me for the past 11 months than my husband has. 


Claire will be 11 months old this Saturday {holy shit. hold me}. And as of last week, I was still pumping every 6 hours. On the hour. 


I have read everything there is to read on weaning from the pump & at this point? I'm pumping way more than I need to for how old my baby is. I have poured out so many "half-drunk" {is that grammatically correct??} bottles in the past month, it's disgusting. So, last week I began "weaning" myself. Basically, going one more hour in between sessions & not pumping more than Claire drank from a bottle at one time {6 oz}. Let me tell you, IT WAS HELL. I was extremely engorged. Mainly on my left side. So, so painful. Even more painful than when my milk came in 11 months ago. OUCH.


I was in tears last week, you guys. Mainly because of the discomfort & full on PAIN I was experiencing, but also having SO many different feelings about what I was doing.
"I'm SO done with this. STUPID F-ING PUMP. WHY ARE YOU NOT WORKING?? AGAIN??"  I say this to myself every day. But am I really ready to quit??!


After some research, I began taking Sudafed on Sunday. Supposedly, it is supposed to help "dry you up, because of a certain ingredient in it. And? It's working. Like, really working. As I type this, however, I have a clogged duct in my left boob. {GOOOD TIMES}. But, I have not been able to pump any more than 4 oz at a time each session today. You'd think I would be jumping up and down & happy that the Sudafed/weaning is working, but? I'm not.


I'm a big ball of mixed emotions.


It is SO bittersweet. 


Yes. I want to have my body back to myself, and not have to watch the clock for when I pump next or worry if I'm leaking through my bra & shirt at work. And to be able to go out from time to time & enjoy myself without having to sneak away and pump. BUT, at the same time, I've pumped for 11 months already, WHAT'S ONE MORE MONTH?! 
BUT, every time I pump, I say to myself "OMG, I CAN'T WAIT TO PUT YOU AWAY, STUPID PUMP!!". 


Are these feelings normal? My educated guess is, YES. But does it make it any easier? HELL NO.


I'm battling with myself whether to continue pumping for another month, or to just dry up. Knowing myself, I will probably pump until Claire is a year, but then what? I just start giving her cow's milk? I'M NOT READY FOR THAT.


Damn. 


I've got issues.


And she's not even a year old. Yet. 

Because I could use extra cash for my baby's FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY.

What is this? Installment 3 of Raid My Closet? Am I desperate, or what?! Ha!

This is just more STUFF that's taking up room in my closet, that I don't use/wear, and I could definitely use this money to put towards CLAIRE'S FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY.

ZOMG. 

e-mail me if you see something you just can't live without! 

laur8153@gmail.com

*Prices are negotiable*

*I ship anywhere in the U.S & Canada*

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{click on picture to make bigger}

"Sunrise Shoulder Bag"

With tag still on it, but does have a tear inside the bag

Purchased for $89

Selling for $25.00 

Pewter Purse

 New With Tag

Purchased for $40.00

$15.00

Red kitten heels

Size: 7.5

$18.00
SOLD

Cream & Brown UGG Boots

Practically brand new

Size: 8 (very snug fit!)

Purchased for $185.00

Selling for: $75.00

  

Red Abercrombie & Fitch Sweatshirt

Size: Small

$9.00

American Eagle Capris

Size: 4

$10.00
SOLD

New in box Juicy Couture "teardrop" earrings 

$18.00
SOLD

New In Box Juicy Couture Heart shaped Earrings

$18.00
SOLD

Blue Tattoo Burmuda Shorts

Size: 28

$20.00
SOLD

Sage Green Sundress 

Size: Medium

$14.00
SOLD

Floral Tank

Size: medium

$8.00

Red Vans

Men size 4.5

Women size 6

$15.00
SOLD

Denim Shorts

Size: 5

$9.00

Zebra Print Wallet

$5.00

Juicy Couture Dog Carrier

Purchased for $300.00 (i know, right?! I used to be a priss)

Selling for $70.00

 Lucky Brand Zip up Hoodie

$9.00

Navy Blue American Eagle Hoodie

Size: Medium

$9.00

Cream Colored GUESS Purse

(has a small tear on the inside)

$15.00

10 months old. Early Intervention. & Other Updates

Hey, remember me? No? 

Ok, well, I'm that one mom with a 10 month old daughter who rarely blogs nowadays. 

Now do you remember? Good.

So ya. Needless to say, I've been missing in action when it comes to this thing. I say that in every post I've done in the last month, but it's true! 

I suck. I'm sorry. 

But for my own memory, I NEED to keep this up. I love blogging & chronicling events & milestones & updates in our busy lives & then going back months from now re-living everything. 

So here we go.

For starters, like I said, I HAVE A 10 MONTH OLD BABY LIVING IN THIS HOUSE. Wasn't she just this little nugget?

wahhh.

Now she's this little {non-crawling} spitfire. 

With my dad in Kansas City

For my memory, let me just take a minute & update with what she's up to:

*Wearing size 3 dipes

*Still in 6 month clothing

*Weighs about 16lbs {5th %tile}

*27" {ish} long. 

*Saying dada, yaya, baba, hi, and the occasional mama.

 *Goes to bed no later than 7pm & wakes up between 7:30-8am

*DEEPEST FREAKING SLEEPER IN HISTORY. She slept through the loudest, most obnoxious fireworks our neighbors set off last week. 

*Has 2 bottom teeth & one top tooth poking through.

*Had her first {high} fever on Father's Day followed by Roseola.

Poor baby!

Stupid Rash!

*Claps, dances, and loves to share her toys & food.

*Still not crawling {more on that in a minute}

*LOVES TO EAT. I swear she eats all the time. And she will only feed herself. She absolutely will not allow me to feed her. Miss independent, much?

*Drinking about 4 {5oz} bottles of breast milk a day

I think those are the the biggest things that have happened this past month. 

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Our trip to Kansas City went off without a freakin' hitch. 

Claire did absolutely amazing on the plane ride there & back. She sat on my lap & played the entire time.

She never fails to exceed my expectations.

We had a blast at the wedding, but OHMYGOD it was disgustingly hot. 

Living in such a dry state, it's a rude awakening when you go to the Midwest & try to stay outside for longer than 2 minutes without being drenched with sweat. 

So of course the wedding was outdoors & we were in a park taking pictures for at least 2 hours. My hair looked amazing, let me tell ya. 

But overall, it was such a fun, much needed getaway!

Our little fam after the ceremony.

My friendly girl waving at the guests. 

We got back into town late July 3rd, so on the 4th, we were tired. 

It was rainy the whole day, so we did nothing.  

We attempted setting off a couple of "silent" {I use quotes because we were told they had no noise, but they did in fact scream when hubs lit them} fireworks at our house before Claire went to bed, but she didn't enjoy that very much. She clung to my shoulder for dear life. Poor thing! HA!

Just a few other random pictures to throw in:

The only picture I captured on Father's Day. Claire was sick. And it was approximately 40 degrees that day.

Hanging by the pool with momma.

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Now, onto a more serious topic.

When I took Claire for her 9 month Well Baby check-up a few weeks ago, her pediatrician asked me if she was crawling, cruising along furniture, rolling over, pushing up on her arms when on her stomach.

I told her "no" for all of the above. She wasn't surprised that she wasn't cruising along furniture yet, but she was slightly concerned that she wasn't doing any of the other things. 

I told her that I had been a little concerned for a while & that's when the topic of Early Intervention came up.

Early Intervention is a program funded by the state that provides children {that qualify} services to help them "catch up" if you will, to where they need to be by Kindergarten. 

A FREE SERVICE TO HELP MY BABY CATCH UP & GET MOVIN?!

 Hell ya, I was on board.

So, last week, someone came out to our house to evaluate Claire to see if she would qualify for the help.

He performed an array of tests on Claire's motor development & fine motor skills, along with asking me a whole bunch of questions about her.

When completed, he told me that Claire has the Fine Motor Skills of a 12 month old {yay smarty baby!}, but that she has the Motor Development of a 7 month old {not surprised}, and that she would qualify for help from them to get back on track.

Basically all they are going to help us with is strengthening her muscle tone in her tummy, arms & back so that we can get her caught up to where she needs to be in that area. 

Still with me?

So, starting on August 4th, a therapist will come out to our home twice a month & work with Claire.

In between visits, they will provide hubs & I exercises to help strengthen her little body & practice, practice, practice.

I would absolutely not be doing this if there was no need for it. Or if I didn't think Claire was ready to get moving. But? She IS! She gets so frustrated when she cant push up on her little arms & support her weight. It sucks, because I want to do it for her, but alas, I cannot. So, Early Intervention it is.

I know there may be many different views on this, but please, no snarky comments, k? Thanks.

If you're still reading after this 9 hour post, you rock. 

Happy Tuesday, loves!