The past 2 months have been the most rewarding, exhausting, exhilarating, fun, emotional months of my life. I think back to the very first day we brought Claire home & all that we've been through in 8 short weeks. There were days where I wanted to just get up & go back to work because I wanted to escape motherhood for a few hours. And now? Now I want nothing more than to be a SAHM. I never thought I would say that or want that. I always thought I would want my adult interaction time a few days a week, but I don't. I just want to spend all day, everyday with my baby girl.
I'm crying right now as I type this. I don't want this time with my baby to end. I feel so close with her & am so afraid she will forget who I am when I return back to work. Granted I'm only going back part time & the grandma's will be watching her (which I am SOOOO grateful for), but still; I'm going to miss her so much. I know I'm definitely not the only one that goes through this. But it totally feels like it.
I don't think I am going to get any sleep come Sunday night & will probably have swollen, red eyes come Monday morning.
Ok. I have to stop thinking about this. I'm going to go watch my baby sleep. & then cry & feel sorry for myself.