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Thursday, June 10, 2010

Is it inevetable?

First off, I'm so sorry for my lack of blogging/commenting this week. One of my best friends from Georgia came out here on Tuesday for the day just because (she flies free). I hadn't seen her since January, so it was really nice to catch up.

So anyway, I'm back & I wanted to talked about something I have been noticing within the last month or so. I don't know if it's my nurturing instincts coming to the surface & getting ready for this little life I'm about to be in charge of or what, but I have been so attached to my husband & dog lately. Before you laugh & roll your eyes, let me explain:

My husband & I work full time, so we leave our puppy home all day. This is nothing new. She knows no different. But lately, I have been overcome by guilt whenever we have to leave her in the morning. All I ever want to do is cuddle with her & take her on walks & make her life as enjoyable as possible. The guilt literally eats at me all day while I'm at work & all I ever do is worry about her. Is she ok? Is she happy? Is she too hot? too cold? It seems that I never want to leave her home alone. & when we do, I just feel sad & guilty. It sucks.

Also, my husband has been out of town since Sunday & doesn't come home until Saturday. This is a long time of course, but he does this trip every year. But this year, I have missed him more than ever. I worry about him constantly, wondering if he's hurt or ok since we can't talk for long periods of time. I've been full of separation anxiety. I know it's not healthy. We need our time apart, I get that. But, why am I feeling like this? I just feel the need for him to be with me 24/7.

Am I feeling this way because my "motherly instincts" are coming out? Will I be like this when Claire gets here? A constant worry wart? I'm so scared I'm going to be one of "those" paranoid moms that doesn't want to let her child out of her sight. I don't want to be like that!

Any suggestions on why I'm feeling this way all of the sudden? And will it stick around when baby comes?

9 comments:

  1. Hi! landed over here from another blog.

    This is totally normal... I promise.

    But I have to ask... are you planning on being a SAHM?

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  2. I sort of went through this with our dog...he is like 6 years old and has always ben crated while we were not at home. We tried a few times leaving him to his own devices and he got into things! But recently I decided to try it again feeling guilty for him. I however went on a 3 week vacation and loved being away from the hubs it always brings us so much closer. yes, I worried about him but I knew he was a big boy! I am sure all of these feelings are normal!

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  3. Those feelings will be ten times worse with your little girl! Especially the first few months. But it's an amazing feeling to have so much love for one person, so don't be worried about it and know that EVERY. SINGLE. MOM. feels the exact same way! I think it's super cute how much you miss your hubby too :)

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  4. I didn't get like that until AFTER my son was born. I pretty much hybernated in my room for almost a month. I didn't want anyone to see him, touch him or anything. Since he was 5 weeks early I was paranoyed about him getting sick or getting dropped. It will get better once your little one gets older.. I'm still overly anal about certain things but when you're a mom, you can't help it :)

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  5. The night we left for the hospital, I bawled because I was sad to leave my cats. I was afraid of how they would be once we got home, if they would think we abandoned them, the whole nine yards. Those feelings stuck around for awhile after Brayden was born.

    And I was totally like that with my husband too. I guess when you realize that there is another person coming into this world that depends on you, you want to control everything! It's totally normal. Don't worry. However, I have struggled with anxiety after Brayden's birth because my thoughts like that got a bit out of hand. If you think they are becoming crazy after Claire arrives, talk to your doctor. Trust me, it helps!

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  6. It is really easy for me to give into worry too. My current freak out is because we didn't have any testing done with James and I always have this 'what if he has Downs? what if he has this or that?' in the back of my mind. I always worry when my hubs travels too. He has to go to Canada for 9 days when James is 8 weeks old. But you just have to push the worry out of your mind and not dwell on it.

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  7. Well, hormones can be evil, just to throw that out there. Lol. However, it is normal. But, you should be aware that after you have the baby...you will feel more emotional. I wrote a blog, Im not sure if you already read it, that discribed my emotional breakdown after I had Kylie. I was worried that it was postpardom depression and wanted to know if it was normal or not...I found it is completely normal. Stay strong, the overwelming feelings will eventually mellow out. :D

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  8. Hormones, hormones, hormones!!! Gotta love em! I found that they were still raging post child birth, but at least you have a perfect little human to cuddle and dote on! And she won't look at you and say "relax mom, you're being a lunatic!" Although sometimes it may look like she is thinking it, haha!

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  9. You will cry, worry, freakout & do many more things when Claire arrives but all it means is you are a good momma!!

    I would suggest loving your pup as much as you can now; I feel guilty because of my lack of time for mine now more than I ever have before!

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