Hello From Hell.

A.k.a. The Hospital.

I'm on the verge of tears & a mental breakdown, so keep that in mind if I sound bitchy with this update.

First of all, I want to raise my hat to those of you who have been in the hospital with your children for long periods of time. I don't know how you do it. It's the most God awful thing to sit & watch your innocent child howl in pain & you cannot do a damn thing about it.

We arrived here around 12:30pm yesterday after being told 4 different check-in times. We checked in, got baby girl changed into her giant hospital pajamas & waited. & waited. & waited. Until 3:30 when the anesthesiologist finally took her back. And? Dallas & I did surprisingly well. Got a little teary, but we knew she was in good hands.

Jammies drowning my baby

I am thankful that I didn't have to watch her be put under. Couldn't have handled that.

Around 5:45, they called for one parent to go back to recovery to be with her. I was the lucky one who got to see her in the worst pain of her life. I completely lost it when I saw her. She was screaming as loud as she could with her horse little voice & dry blood in her right nostril from the breathing tube she had in.

I wanted to scoop her up & run away & take her pain from her.


We were in recovery for about 20 minutes. The nurse gave her a dose of Morphine {do you know anyone who needed Morphine for a sore throat? Remember, the damn surgeon told us that the pain would be that of a sore throat...}& urged me to try & feed her so glucose water. Cue the screams. She hated it. She had a tongue stitch in which basically held her tongue down so that she couldn't swallow it...horrible. Once the Morphine kicked in, she was wheeled up here to the IMSU (Infant Medical Surgical Unit). That was about 6pm.

Daddy & his sad baby girl

We got to the room & Dallas & I broke down. We didn't want to be here with our baby in pain. It wasn't supposed to be this bad. It was supposed to be minor pain. We just felt like we were left in the dark about how much pain she would really be in.

Did I mention that we are sharing a room with another family of a 6 month old? Did I also mention that the mother of this child read my blog & commented on my last post? How freakin' small is this world??

If we had our way, however, we would all have our own rooms. When one baby cried last night. the other one woke up & started crying. It was a vicious fucking cycle. Between that, pumping every 3 hours & the damn nurses poking & prodding Claire every hour, I think I slept a total of 10 minutes.

Right after surgery

This morning has been weird. She woke up acting like her normal, happy self, but then realized she was starving & in pain. She can't eat. The nipple on the bottle irritates the incision, but she wants so badly to eat. And we can't go home until she has mastered eating. So, it looks like we will be here until tomorrow evening at the least.

Thank you for all of your thoughts & prayers. Keep them coming.

If You're the Praying Type,

please keep our sweet Claire Lula in your thoughts & prayers.

Tomorrow, she will be having surgery to repair her cleft pallet.

It's an inpatient procedure & she will be kept over night for observation after the surgery is complete.

While I am so anxious & excited for her to get this fixed {while she's so young} so that she doesn't have any more problems with feeding,  I am a ball of worry.

I know that everything will be o.k. The surgeon has {slightly} set our minds at ease by telling us that it's really no different than having your tonsils out {which is a pretty minor procedure}. But nonetheless, she's getting put under, & that scares the living crap out of me. She's only 6 months old, after all.

Supposedly, Claire will be able to eat normally as soon as the procedure is through. I am so excited to see the change in her eating habits & wonder if she will put on a bunch of weight afterward! Or maybe she's just always going to be a little lady ;)

I promise to keep you all posted as soon as we get home on Saturday.

Daddy brought home the "nice camera" from work this weekend

& we had a little photo sesh 

Yes, she's on the counter. 

God, I love her.

She loves me too :)

And LOVES grabbing noses

Drool

Getting so big

Also, thanks to your suggestions, I'm meeting up with a local momma tomorrow &  giving her about 150oz of my frozen breast milk stash for her 4 month old baby boy. It feels so good to give it to a baby who will benefit from it, rather than throw it away!

Lovella Bowtique Giveaway {Winner}!!

Congratulations, Britt! You've won a $25.00 credit to Lovella Bowtique!

Please e-mail Felica at Lovellabowtique@gmail.com to find out how to claim your credit!

Britt said -I like "Lovella Boutique" on Facebook.


eta: I have no idea why the random.org widget did not appear. But that is the site I used to choose the winner. I hope you believe me :)

In Denial

There are 2 reasons as to why I am just now posting Claire's 6 month post.

One is because I lost my stupid camera charger & haven't been able to take any pictures, so photos from my phone will just have to do.

But the main reason I haven't written this post yet is because I am living in denial.

Denial that I have a 6 month old living in this house. 

That's a half year old. That means in another 6 short months, I will have a one year old. 

Please excuse me while I inhale into a paper bag. 

I just cannot believe how quickly these 6 months passed us by. 

In a way, I feel like she was just born, yet I feel like she's been in our lives for years.

Weirdest feeling.

Enough with the sappiness.

Moving on. 

Claire has changed so much in the last month. I feel like she's so much older & has so much more personality, which I just love!

*As of her 6 mo check-up last week, she weighs 13lbs 3oz {10th%tile} 26" tall {60th%tile}. Long & lean baby girl. 

*Still in size 1 dipes. 

*0-3mo bottoms & 3-6mo tops. She's in 6 month sleepers

*Eating between 5-7oz of breast milk every 2.5-3hours. I can't wait to get her cleft repaired so that she's able to eat more without getting so tired & frustrated.

*We start our bedtime routine at 5:30 every night. She gets so fussy around 4 & refuses to nap around then, so we just put her to bed early. It's fine. She's no night owl, that's for sure. She is in bed no later than 7pm & sleeps until about 3:30-4, eats then sleeps until about 7:30.

*Her jumperoo is her absolute favorite toy. Just about 2 weeks ago, she discovered that she can actually jump in her jumperoo. It's absolutely hilarious. She thinks she's all that.

*Despises tummy time & has zero interest in trying to crawl. None. Whatsoever.

*"talks" constantly & loves to stick her tongue out while doing so. Silly babe.

* We are now napping in our crib. Hallelujah! About 2 weeks ago, I just randomly thought I would try putting her down in her crib after failed attempts of her sleeping in her swing. And? She fell right asleep. And the rest is history. {knock on wood} Granted, they are never longer than an hour, but I have a cat napper. I've come to terms with that.

*She's just learning how to sit on her own for a few seconds at a time. It's so funny because when she knows she's sitting on her own, she gets a giant grin & you can tell she's so proud of herself.

*She wants everything that mom & dad have. i.e our cell phones, remote, drink & FOOD. omg. She is just dying to get her little hands on any and all food we have. I absolutely cannot wait to start her on solids. She's beyond ready, now we just have to wait until next week when her surgery is done & over. 

I'm sure there is more that little miss is up to, but I think I've highlighted the most important things.

 I am just still in shock that I have a 6 month old. 

Literally SICK to my stomach.

I have easily over 500oz of frozen breast milk in my freezer, dating back from the beginning of January.


From what I have read & heard from other moms, breast milk stays "good" in the freezer for up to 3 months from the date it's stored.


Well, Claire thinks otherwise. She refuses to drink any of my milk that is older than a couple of weeks. Back in January, I had to toss everything I had pumped & frozen from October to December. Made me sad, but if she wasn't going to drink it, there was no use in keeping it. 

Donating it had crossed my mind, but I doubt anyone would want it knowing I am on an anti-depressant. 

I have tried mixing the older milk with freshly pumped milk. No dice. Girlfriend is picky.


Tonight, I cleaned out my freezer from everything I pumped in January because Claire won't drink it. It is an entire Target bag FULL of 6oz bags of breast milk. Going to waste. I can't get myself to take it out to the garbage can. I'd take a picture & show you, but you can just take my word for it. I doubt you all want to see bags of my frozen breast milk.


"I've worked SO hard to build this stash. I can't get myself to throw it all away!" I keep saying to myself.


After some research, the only thing I can come up with as to why she refuses the older milk is that I may have an excess of Lipase in my breast milk. Apparently, it's an enzyme in all breast milk. But if a woman has too much, the milk can taste/smell soapy or sour. Bleh! No wonder she doesn't want to drink it. I wouldn't either! 


The only way to lower the lipase count is to scald the milk right after pumping & storing it from there. What a pain in the ass. 


But, I'm gonna do what I gotta do to keep my milk good for my girl. 


That doesn't mean that I'm not sick to my stomach about throwing it all out, though. Boo. 


Don't forget to enter the Lovella Bowtique giveaway! Entries are open until Tuesday!


Also, I will get Claire's 6 month post up here soon! Promise. Omg. 6 months. unreal.

Lovella Bowtique {my first giveaway!}

I have been in love with hair accessories for babies & little girls ever since before I knew I was having a girl. But I'm so picky! They have to be unique & pretty yet reasonable in price, because remember, I'm cheap frugal. 


So when Felicia over at "It Won't be Like This For Long", contacted me about doing a review/giveaway for her adorable Esty shop, I jumped at the chance in excitement!

One, I have never hosted a giveaway before in my year of blogging & two, this is a giveaway that I truly wanted to be a part of. I would not host a giveaway if the product I reviewed was something I didn't LOVE.

She makes the most adorable things for little girls {and boys}! I'm quite jealous of her talent, really.

Baby & adult headbands, pettiskirts & personalized onesies just to name a few of the awesome things she makes!

Remember this picture?? See that to die for headband?? Felicia made that. Love. 

Seriously, I adore this headband. Not only is it gorgeous, but it stays on Claire's head so well. I have a problem with some of her other headbands falling down in front of her face, which freaks me out! 
But this one stays on great & doesn't seem to bother her in the least. 


One thing I will say though is, Felicia sent me a 3-6 month headband. 


Claire has a big head {takes after her dad :)}, so when I order a headband from her shop in the future, I would probably order a 6-12 month size.

Onesie & Headband made by Lovella

Felicia is offering one lucky reader a $25.00 credit to her shop!

Here's how to enter:

Required Entry: "Like" Lovella Bowtique on Facebook & let me know {1 entry}

Additional Entries {each must be a separate comment in order for it to count as an entry}

*Follow my blog & let me know {1 entry}

*Follow Felicia's blog & let me know {1 entry}

*Go to her Esty store & tell me what {one of} your favorite items are. {1 entry}

*Follow me on Twitter & let me know {1 entry}

Because she is the sweetheart that she is, Felicia is offering all of my readers 15% off their Lovella order! Enter the code "Claire15" in the comments section at the checkout!

It's a win-win! 

This giveaway will be open from now until next Tuesday, March 8th. 

I will be picking a winner via Random.org

GOOD LUCK!!

required disclaimer: Lovella Bowtique sent me the headband & onesie at no charge, in exchange for me to review & host this giveaway. I would not be hosting this giveaway if the products I were provided with were not something I did not 100% love.