Hello From Hell.

A.k.a. The Hospital.

I'm on the verge of tears & a mental breakdown, so keep that in mind if I sound bitchy with this update.

First of all, I want to raise my hat to those of you who have been in the hospital with your children for long periods of time. I don't know how you do it. It's the most God awful thing to sit & watch your innocent child howl in pain & you cannot do a damn thing about it.

We arrived here around 12:30pm yesterday after being told 4 different check-in times. We checked in, got baby girl changed into her giant hospital pajamas & waited. & waited. & waited. Until 3:30 when the anesthesiologist finally took her back. And? Dallas & I did surprisingly well. Got a little teary, but we knew she was in good hands.

Jammies drowning my baby

I am thankful that I didn't have to watch her be put under. Couldn't have handled that.

Around 5:45, they called for one parent to go back to recovery to be with her. I was the lucky one who got to see her in the worst pain of her life. I completely lost it when I saw her. She was screaming as loud as she could with her horse little voice & dry blood in her right nostril from the breathing tube she had in.

I wanted to scoop her up & run away & take her pain from her.


We were in recovery for about 20 minutes. The nurse gave her a dose of Morphine {do you know anyone who needed Morphine for a sore throat? Remember, the damn surgeon told us that the pain would be that of a sore throat...}& urged me to try & feed her so glucose water. Cue the screams. She hated it. She had a tongue stitch in which basically held her tongue down so that she couldn't swallow it...horrible. Once the Morphine kicked in, she was wheeled up here to the IMSU (Infant Medical Surgical Unit). That was about 6pm.

Daddy & his sad baby girl

We got to the room & Dallas & I broke down. We didn't want to be here with our baby in pain. It wasn't supposed to be this bad. It was supposed to be minor pain. We just felt like we were left in the dark about how much pain she would really be in.

Did I mention that we are sharing a room with another family of a 6 month old? Did I also mention that the mother of this child read my blog & commented on my last post? How freakin' small is this world??

If we had our way, however, we would all have our own rooms. When one baby cried last night. the other one woke up & started crying. It was a vicious fucking cycle. Between that, pumping every 3 hours & the damn nurses poking & prodding Claire every hour, I think I slept a total of 10 minutes.

Right after surgery

This morning has been weird. She woke up acting like her normal, happy self, but then realized she was starving & in pain. She can't eat. The nipple on the bottle irritates the incision, but she wants so badly to eat. And we can't go home until she has mastered eating. So, it looks like we will be here until tomorrow evening at the least.

Thank you for all of your thoughts & prayers. Keep them coming.