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Saturday, March 12, 2011

Hello From Hell.

A.k.a. The Hospital.

I'm on the verge of tears & a mental breakdown, so keep that in mind if I sound bitchy with this update.

First of all, I want to raise my hat to those of you who have been in the hospital with your children for long periods of time. I don't know how you do it. It's the most God awful thing to sit & watch your innocent child howl in pain & you cannot do a damn thing about it.



We arrived here around 12:30pm yesterday after being told 4 different check-in times. We checked in, got baby girl changed into her giant hospital pajamas & waited. & waited. & waited. Until 3:30 when the anesthesiologist finally took her back. And? Dallas & I did surprisingly well. Got a little teary, but we knew she was in good hands.

Jammies drowning my baby


I am thankful that I didn't have to watch her be put under. Couldn't have handled that.

Around 5:45, they called for one parent to go back to recovery to be with her. I was the lucky one who got to see her in the worst pain of her life. I completely lost it when I saw her. She was screaming as loud as she could with her horse little voice & dry blood in her right nostril from the breathing tube she had in.

I wanted to scoop her up & run away & take her pain from her.


We were in recovery for about 20 minutes. The nurse gave her a dose of Morphine {do you know anyone who needed Morphine for a sore throat? Remember, the damn surgeon told us that the pain would be that of a sore throat...}& urged me to try & feed her so glucose water. Cue the screams. She hated it. She had a tongue stitch in which basically held her tongue down so that she couldn't swallow it...horrible. Once the Morphine kicked in, she was wheeled up here to the IMSU (Infant Medical Surgical Unit). That was about 6pm.

Daddy & his sad baby girl


We got to the room & Dallas & I broke down. We didn't want to be here with our baby in pain. It wasn't supposed to be this bad. It was supposed to be minor pain. We just felt like we were left in the dark about how much pain she would really be in.

Did I mention that we are sharing a room with another family of a 6 month old? Did I also mention that the mother of this child read my blog & commented on my last post? How freakin' small is this world??

If we had our way, however, we would all have our own rooms. When one baby cried last night. the other one woke up & started crying. It was a vicious fucking cycle. Between that, pumping every 3 hours & the damn nurses poking & prodding Claire every hour, I think I slept a total of 10 minutes.

Right after surgery

This morning has been weird. She woke up acting like her normal, happy self, but then realized she was starving & in pain. She can't eat. The nipple on the bottle irritates the incision, but she wants so badly to eat. And we can't go home until she has mastered eating. So, it looks like we will be here until tomorrow evening at the least.

Thank you for all of your thoughts & prayers. Keep them coming.

29 comments:

  1. I am sending prayers your way, that is horrible how they totally mislead you on the amount of pain she would be in. Prayers for Claire!

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  2. I'm praying for you! That is so awful that they didn't give you a realistic idea of what to expect. Hospitals are tough, but hopefully the surgery will make things much easier later on. Sending thoughts, prayers, and kisses Claire's way!

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  3. I feel your pain girl! I know how difficult it is! We are waiting to be discharged from PICU now and moved out to the floor. I hope that Claire is better soon and that you can get some rest!

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  4. Oh jeez poor baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im in tears reading this just remembering both of my bebes in the hospital and thinking of how we we be back with my son there very soon ! I hope you get through the next few days as easily as you can ! I had to watch my daughter at 2 months have 3 ivs and a catheter....GRUSOME! Im so sorry for you but it will be over soon enough! prayers for your family !

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  5. OMG...poor little Claire :( I am so sorry that she is having so much pain, I can't believe they told you it would only be a "sore throat" that seems like total bullshit to me. I'm glad they gave her morphine though, at least they didn't try to down-play it an only give her Tylenol or something like that. Can you try a different bottle nipple to see if that helps? I think the latex bottle nipples (the brownish ones, Playtex makes them, I know that) are a little softer and not as rigid as silicone, maybe that wouldn't be as irritating? I'm sorry Mama, I'll be thinking about you!!

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  6. I am crying for you; I have no words that can take Claire's pain away or yours for that fact but will keep you guys in my thoughts & prayers & will also pray that she will be able to eat VERY soon!!!

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  7. Hang in there friend- it wont be long until you wont realize how bad this was cause your girl will be eating normally!!! It really will be worth it- even though it feels horrible right now!

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  8. I am so sorry poor little Claire is having to go through so much pain. I am definitely sending prayers your way. I pray this recovery period is a short one and that she is feeling better very soon!

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  9. Oh honey ((hugs)) I'm so sorry but I'm SO glad it went ok.

    Many prayers being sent your way.

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  10. Oh this sounds awful! I am so sorry! Keeping you all in my prayers!

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  11. this post makes my heart ache for you. as a mama I can't imagine watching my little guy be in pain.. stay strong mama!!!

    you WILL get through this! and it will be better in the end!!

    praying for you guys!!!

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  12. I am SO sorry you are going through all this, I had tears reading this post. Sending tons of prayers your way. Lots and lots of((hugs))

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  13. I am so sorry that you and Claire are going through this. I SO completely understand the sharing rooms with another baby, the poking proding by the nurses and everything that goes with being at the hospital with your babe. We did that for 40+ days.
    I don't know how you guys are feeding her, but one of our many roommates had his palate repaired and they started off with a syringe and then moved up to the bottle. Also, morphine is given only the first 24 hours after surgery, it's so they are able to cope with the pain of the surgery and the irritation from the tubes when they sedated her. I hope she starts feeling better and you guys get to go home soon!
    Also, I'm not an expert, but I know a lot about making a hospital stay easier, I'm here if you need to chat/vent. :) ::hugs::

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  14. Oh girl, I am so very sorry to see this! I hope that it gets better and that she is feeling better asap! Sending prayers your way!

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  15. Im so sorry you are going through this! Im praying for your little family and especially your little girl. Stay strong and keep loving on that sweet baby of yours. Our thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

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  16. I totaly know what you are going through and you can doi it! My son was diagnosed with Brain Cancer at 7 1/2 months old. He has had about 10 surgeries and we spent May-December last year in the hospital! The end is in sight and you may have a little bit of a battle when you get home but it will be okay, I will say and prayer for you both!

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  17. I'm so sorry it was such a rough day for all of you:( Poor sweet baby. I hope today was better for all of you!

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  18. Oh, my heart is breaking for you! Hopefully the worst is over with, and soon she will be the healthiest she's ever been in her entire little life! Those pictures of her are so sweet. Wish I could give all of you a hug.

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  19. Oh my gosh. I'm sorry! Prayers!

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  20. I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. As a mom of a baby myself, I would be feeling the exact the same way! Just try to keep reminding yourself that this is for her own good and in fact, she won't even remember any of this when she gets older.
    Stay strong, mama.

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  21. Stay strong!!! Babies heal sooo quickly! It seems like it'll last forever right now, but she'll be back to her happy self in no time. Sending prayers your way!!!

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  22. Hey Sweetie. Someone told me you had a blog and I decided to search for it because I miss ya and wanted to see your beautiful little girl. I'm so sorry for what Claire has to go through. It's so freaking horrible to watch your babies hurt. Your family will be in my prayers. Let me know if I need to come bully some nurses and doctors.

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  23. It was so nice to meet you! I hope last night and today goes well for you and Claire. It is hard to be in the hospital with your baby! I hope she is eating like a little piggy today. Good luck!

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  24. oh man! I can not imagine what you are going through. I do not handle situations like that very well. I hope that she can eat and go home! I am sure she will do so much better in her own home. Snuggle that baby, mommy.

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  25. Keep hanging in there momma! I haven't been in the hospital with my little one before and can only imaagine how hard that is. Prayers and hope she gets to be home soon :)

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  26. I'm so sorry. I will def. pray for you all. I hope she recovers quickly. Stay strong Mama!

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  27. big hugs...hope she's feeling better really soon.

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  28. Laur I wish you would have texted me to tell me about her surgery! I had no idea because I haven't read blogs in like a week :( I hope little Miss Claire is doing well now & call me when things are getting a little back to normal. I love you all & y'all are in my prayers!!!

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  29. I hate seeing babes in hospital gowns :-( It's so sad. I'm so glad to hear that everything went well and that she is doing better. I certainly thought a lot about you on Friday!

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